wishing.on.a.star

Ok, Here it is. Your choice, it's simple. Her or me. And I'm sure she's really great. But Derek.. I love you. In a really really big pretend to like your taste in music let you eat the last piece of cheesecake hold a radio over my head outside your window unfortunate way that makes me hate you love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me.

Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it and life always makes more.

I feel like one of those people who is so miserable that they can't be around normal people, like I'll infect the happy people

At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them.

A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.

Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop

Maybe were not supose to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful is recognizing what you have for what it is, appreciating small victories admiring the strugle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familar things we know and maybe we're thankful for the things we will never know. At the end of the day the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.

We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true

At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.

I have an aunt who whenever she poured anything for you she would say "Say when". My aunt would say "Say when" and of course, we never did. We don't say when because there's something about the possibility, of more. More tequila, more love, more anything. More is better.

Intimacy is a four syllable word for, "Here's my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy." It's both desired, and feared. Difficult to live with, and impossible to live without. Intimacy also comes attached to the three R's... relatives, romance, and roommates. There are some things you can't escape. And other things you just don't want to know.

I know it's not perfect, but it's life. Life is messy sometimes

And still there are times when it just gets away from you. No matter how hard you fight it, you fall. And it's scary as hell. Except there's an upside to freefalling. It's the chance you give your friends to catch you.

We deny that we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed. And most importantly, we deny that we're in denial. We only see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe, and it works. We lie to ourselves so much that after a while the lies start to seem like the truth. We deny so much that we can't recognize the truth right in front of our faces.

At the end of the day, there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear, and some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say, they're what you do. Some things you say cause there's no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves.

For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air. You can't cheat your first kiss. Trust me, you don't want to. Cause when you find that right person for a first kiss, it's everything.

Four hundred years ago, another well-known English guy had an opinion about being alone. John Donne. He thought we were never alone. Of course, it was fancier when he said it. "No man is an island entire unto himself." Boil down that island talk, and he just meant that all anyone needs is someone to step in and let us know we're not alone.

How do you know how much is too much? too much too soon, too much information, too much fun, too much love, too much to ask? and when is it all just too much to bear?

Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us on the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired. We are scared. Denying it doesnt change the truth. Sooner or later, we have to put aside our denial and face the world, head on, guns blazing. Denial. Its not just a river in Egypt. Its a freakin ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?

Pain comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain, the normal pains we live with everyday. Then there's the kind of pain you can't ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else... makes the rest of the world fade away, until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us. Pain, we anestitize, ride it out, embrace it, ignore it. and for some of us the best way to manage pain is to just push through it

You are eight feet tall. Your boobs are perfect. Your hair is down to there. If I was you I would just walk around naked all the time. I wouldn't have a job, I wouldn't have any skills, I wouldn't even know how to read. I would just be... naked.

Christmas makes you want to be with people you love. I'm not saying this to hurt you, or because I want to leave you, because I don't. Meredith wasn't a fling. She wasn't revenge. I fell in love with her. That doesn't go away because I decided to stay with you.

There's something to be said about a glass half full. About knowing when to say when. I think it's a floating line. A barometer of need and desire. It's entirely up to the individual. And depends on what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste. Other times there's no such thing as enough, the glass is bottomless. And all we want, is more.

But as human beings, sometimes it's better to stay in the dark, because in the dark there may be fear, but there's also hope

No matter how hard we try to ignore it or try to deny it eventually the lies fall away, whether we like it or not. But heres the truth about the truth-- it hurts. So, we lie.

It's not a day on the calendar. Not a birthday, not a new year. It's an event, big or small, something that changes us. Ideally, it gives us hope. A new way of living and looking at the world. Letting go of old habits, old memories... What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning. But it's also important to remember that amid all the crap... are a few things worth holding on to.

Okay, the man I love, has a wife. And then he chooses her over me. And that wife, takes my dog. Okay, she didn't take the dog, I gave it to her, but I didn't mean to give it to her. I meant to give it to him. But that does not change the fact that she's got my McDreamy. And my McDog. She's got my McLife. And what have I got? You know, I can't remember the last time we kissed. Cause you never think the last time is the last time, you think there'll be more. You think you have forever but you don't.

I need a sign things are gonna change, I need a reason to go on, I need hope.

You don't get to choose. I know you've been going through a bad time. I know you miss Shepard. And I know that your life has, admittedly, been pretty unpleasant these days. You get points for breathing in and out. You get to be a little selfish. But you don't get to choose a dog over me... I'm George. I sleep down the hall from you. I buy your tampons. I have held your hand, every time you asked. I've earned the right to be seen. To be respected. To not have you think of me, as less than a dog that you got at the pound. So, I'm not moving out. Whether you like it or not, I'm staying.

In general, lines are there for a reason : for security, for clarity. If you choose to cross the line, you pretty much do so at your own risk. So why is it, that the bigger the line, the greater the temptation to cross it? we cant help ourselves, we see a line we want to cross it. maybe its the thrill of trading the familiar for the unfamiliar, a sort of personal dare. Only problem is once youve crossed, its almost impossible to go back. But, if you do manage to make it back across that line, you find safety in numbers

Lying is bad, or so we're told constantly from birth. honesty is the best policy, the truth shall set you free, i chopped down the cherry tree. whatever. the fact is lying is a necessity. we lie to ourselves because the truth, the truth freaking hurts.

Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was like, if you'd get a bike for your birthday or if you'd get to eat cookies for breakfast. Being an adult? Totally overrated. I mean seriously, don't be fooled by all the hot shoes and the great sex and the no parents anymore telling you what to do. Adulthood is responsibility.

No matter how hard we try to ignore it or try to deny it eventually the lies fall away, whether we like it or not. But heres the truth about the truth-- it hurts. So, we lie.

It's not a day on the calendar. Not a birthday, not a new year. It's an event, big or small, something that changes us. Ideally, it gives us hope. A new way of living and looking at the world. Letting go of old habits, old memories... What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning. But it's also important to remember that amid all the crap... are a few things worth holding on to.

Okay, the man I love, has a wife. And then he chooses her over me. And that wife, takes my dog. Okay, she didn't take the dog, I gave it to her, but I didn't mean to give it to her. I meant to give it to him. But that does not change the fact that she's got my McDreamy. And my McDog. She's got my McLife. And what have I got? You know, I can't remember the last time we kissed. Cause you never think the last time is the last time, you think there'll be more. You think you have forever but you don't.

I need a sign things are gonna change, I need a reason to go on, I need hope.

George: You don't get to choose. I know you've been going through a bad time. I know you miss Shepard. And I know that your life has, admittedly, been pretty unpleasant these days. You get points for breathing in and out. You get to be a little selfish. But you don't get to choose a dog over me... I'm George. I sleep down the hall from you. I buy your tampons. I have held your hand, every time you asked. I've earned the right to be seen. To be respected. To not have you think of me, as less than a dog that you got at the pound. So, I'm not moving out. Whether you like it or not, I'm staying.

In general, lines are there for a reason: for security, for clarity. If you choose to cross the line, you pretty much do so at your own risk. So why is it, that the bigger the line, the greater the temptation to cross it we cant help ourselves, we see a line we want to cross it. maybe its the thrill of trading the familiar for the unfamiliar, a sort of personal dare. Only problem is once you’ve crossed, its almost impossible to go back. But, if you do manage to make it back across that line, you find safety in numbers

Lying is bad, or so we're told constantly from birth. honesty is the best policy, the truth shall set you free, i chopped down the cherry tree. whatever. the fact is lying is a necessity. we lie to ourselves because the truth, the truth freaking hurts

Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was like, if you'd get a bike for your birthday or if you'd get to eat cookies for breakfast. Being an adult? Totally overrated. I mean seriously, don't be fooled by all the hot shoes and the great sex and the no parents anymore telling you what to do. Adulthood is responsibility.

I mean, if life's so hard already, why do we bring more trouble down on ourselves? What's up with the need to hit the self-destruct button.

You're letting her think you're emotionally available. You're letting her think she has a chance. And there is nothing worse in the world than thinking you have a chance when you really don't.

Whoever said What you don't know can't hurt you was a complete and total moron. Because ... for most people I know, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world.

I know I'm not a world reknowned surgeon and I know I'm not alot of things you've gone for in the past. But I would never leave you, I would never hurt you, and I will never stop loving you

Its easy to suggest a quick solution, when you dont know much about the problem or you dont understand the underlying cause or just how deep the wound is. The first step toward a real cure is to know exactly what the disease is to begin with. But thats not what people want to hear. We're supposed to forget the past that led us here, ignore the future complications that might arise and go for the quick fix

Superstition lies in the space between what we can control. Find a penny, pick it up, and all day long you'll have good luck. No one wants to pass up a chance for good luck. But does saying it thirty three times really help? Is anyone really listening? And if no ones listening, why do we bother doing those strange things. We rely on superstitions because we're smart enough to know we don't have all the answers. And that life works in mysterious ways. Don't diss the juju, from wherever it comes.

After careful consideration and many sleepless nights, heres what I've decided: there's no such thing as a grown-up. We move on, we move out, we move away from our families and form our own. But the basic insecurities, the basic fears and all those old wounds just grow up with us....We get bigger, we get taller, we get older. But, for the most part, we're still a bunch of kids, running around the playground, trying desperately to fit in.

Okay, so, sometimes, even the best of us make rash decisions, bad decisions, decisions we pretty much know we're regret the moment, the minute....espeically the morning after. I mean, maybe not regret.... regret, because at least we put ourselves out there. But still, something inside of us decides to do a crazy thing, a thing we know that will probably bite us in the ass, but we do it anyway. What I am saying is, we reap what we sew. What comes around goes around. Like I was saying... payback is a bitch.

He's not the kind of guy you leave if you can help it

Ms. Synder explained to me that when fate comes into play choice sometimes goes out the window. At the ripe old age of 13 I was very clear, that love like life is about making choices and fate has nothing to do with it. Everyone thinks its so romantic... Romeo and Juliet, true love...how sad. If Juliet was stupid enough to fall for the enemy, drink the bottle of poison, and go to sleep in a mausoleum ... she deserved whatever she got.

Games are all about glory, pain and the play by play. Then there are the more solitary games, the games we each play all by ourselves -- the social games, the mind games. We use them to pass the time; to make life more interesting.. to distract us from what's really going on.

I am Preston Burke, a widely renowned cardiothorasic surgeon. I am a professional. And more than that I am a good and kind person. I am a person that cleans up behind myself. I am a person that cooks well. And you, you are an unbelievable slob. A slovenly, angry intern. I am Preston Burke. And you, you are the most competitive, most guarded, most stubborn, most challenging person I have ever met. And I love you. What the hell is the matter with you that you wont just let me?

We're friends, real friends. And that means, no matter how long it takes, when you finally do decide to look back, Ill still be here.

I've heard that its possible to grow up, I've just never met anyone whos actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things dont go our way. We whisper secrets with our best friend, in the dark. We look for comfort where we can find it. And we hope against all logic, against all experience, like children- we never give up hope

There are those of us who love to play games. Any game. And there are those of us who love to play too much

Well? I need one of you to tell me what this means eactly. Because I think I know what it means. But I tend to be glass half-empty these days. So I wont trust what I think it means.

As doctors, as friends, as human beings, we all try to do the best we can. But the world is full of unexpected twists and turns. And just when youve gotten the lay of the land, the ground underneath you shifts. And knocks you off your feet. If you're lucky, you'll end up with nothing more than a flesh wound, something a bandaid will cover. But, some wounds are deeper than they first appear, and require more than just a quick fix. With some wounds, you have to rip of the bandaid, let them breathe and give them time to heal.

Life is not a spectator sport; win, lose or draw, the game is in progress whether we want it to be or not. So go ahead, argue with the refs, change the rules, cheat a little, take a break and tend to your wounds. But play hard, play fast, play loose and free; play as if theres no tomorrow. Ok so, It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game, right?

A wise man once said you can have anything in life, if you sacrifice everything else for it. What he meant is, nothing comes without a price. So before you go into battle you better decide how much you're willing to lose.

The point is we can't help who we fall in love with

Too often going after what feels good means letting of what you know is right. And letting someone in means abandoning the walls you took so long to build. Of course, the toughest sacrifices are the ones we don't see coming ; when we don't have time to come up with a strategy, pick a side, or measure the potential loss. When that happens, when the battle chooses us and not the other way around, that's when the sacrifice becomes more than we can bear

It's okay the hot ones are always mean. It's like a rule or something

There are days that make the sacrifices seem worthwhile. And then there are the days where everything feels like a sacrifice. And then there are the sacrifices that you cant even figure out why you're making

I just can't tell you what you want to hear which seems to be a theme in my life. Just because you can't tell someone doesn't mean you can't feel it. You can be with someone and be happy and not love them. Or you can love them and not be with them

You're right, I should run. But I'd rather be running towards someone than running away

All her life she's asked me everything... from what color dress she oughta wear to her kindergarten dance, to what she should name her baby. I'm her moma.. it's my job to have an opinion, and its my job to have an answer.

I can't compete. He's not having an affair. He's not trying to hurt me. He's just... The only people who don't know that Derek loves Meredith are Derek and Meredith. How do I compete with that?

The thing is, I was healthy my whole life till I wasn't. And the last year I've had a lot of time to lie around in bed and think about my life. And the things that I remember best... well, those are the things that I wasn't supposed to do and I did them anyway. See, the thing is, Meredith, life is too damned short to be following these rules.

So what makes anger different from the six other deadly sins? It's pretty simple really, you give into a sin like envy or pride and you only hurt yourself. Try lust or coveting and you'll only hurt yourself and one or two others. But anger, anger is the worst... the mother of all sins... Not only can anger drive you over the edge, when it does you can take an awful lot of people with you.

We all go through life like bulls in a china shop---a chip here, a crack there, doing damage to ourselves and to other people. the problem is trying to figure out how to control the damage we've done or thats been done to us. sometimes the damage catches us by surprise, sometimes we think we can fix the damage, and sometimes the damage is something we can't even see. we're all damaged it seems, some of us more than others. we carry the damage with us from childhood, then, as grownups, we give as good as we get. ultimately, we all do damage. and then, we set about the business of fixing whatever we can

In life we are taught that there are seven deadly sins. We all know the big ones... gluttony, pride, lust. But the thing you don't hear much about is anger. Maybe it's because we think anger is not that dangerous, that you can control it. My point is, maybe we don't give anger enough credit. Maybe it can be a lot more dangerous than we think. After all when it comes to destructive behaviour, it did make the top seven.

I get to make my own decisions. Have my own life. Do whatever I choose. And here's the good part, so you listen close. What I choose is you . You're what I want to wake up with, and go to bed with, and do everything in between with

Now that's frustrating, when what your brain tells you you want and what you actually want don't match up. Its exhausting. And, well, its complicated. But that's life. And life... sucks

Human beings need a lot of things to feel alive. Family... Love... Sex. But we only need one thing... To actually be alive. We need a beating heart. When our heart is threatened we respond in one of two ways. We either run or... we attack. There's a scientific term for this: Fight or flight. It's instinct... We can't control it. Or can we?

And hating you is the most exaushting and I don't wanna do it anymore

I was just looking for a replacement. Looking for something to make me feel better. You deserve better than that.

Let's say you were drafted to a team that wasn't your first pick. You know, you don't like the players. You hate the way they play the game. You even think the quarterback is full of crap. The quarterback's a pain in the ass you don't owe a damned thing to. But, it's your team. You don't quit. You don't talk to the press. You don't bitch to the coach. You just, you just go out there every Sunday and you make the blocks and you take the hits and you, you play to win. You show up and you suit up and you play, because it's your freaking team.

Love means never having to use your girlfriend as a HUMAN SHIELD!

But sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, they just can't love you back in the same way. Believe me, son. Living with a woman who can't love you back ... way lonelier than being alone.

I know you. You don't want to move but I can't always be the one that takes a step. Any more steps and I'm walking away.

I'm a pretty girl. I'm not being arrogant, its just, its just kind of a fact. For a long time I made a career from my looks, so I get it, I'm a pretty girl. And not in a "from a certain angle" way, in an obvious way. It's the blonde thing and the big boobs thing, big boobs are a key to obvious pretty if you know what I'm saying. Its how men see me. I'm not a smart girl or an interesting girl, I'm a pretty girl. The blonde and the boobs it confuses guys into thinking that I'm someone else. And I'm used to it. And I'm used to them walking away when they realize. But then Denny goes and asks me to marry him. He doesn't make me feel like I'm a pretty girl. He makes me feel like. like me. I think he might know me

All I want to do is forget her. All I want to do is escape her and, you know, I can't.

You just have to know. And when you don't know? No one can fault you for it. You do what you can, when you can, while you can. When you can't, you can't.

Gratitude. Appreciation. Giving thanks. No matter what words you use, it all means the same thing: happy. We're supposed to be happy, grateful. For friends, family. Happy to just be alive. Whether we like it or not.

Maybe Romeo and Juliet were fated to be together, but just for a while, and then their time passed. If they could have known that beforehand, maybe it all would have been okay. I told Mrs. Snyder that when I was grown up, I'd take fate into my own hands. I wouldn't let some guy drag me down. Mrs. Snyder said that I'd be lucky if I ever had that kind of passion with someone, and if I did, we'd be together forever. Even now, I believe that for the most part, love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending...most of the time. And sometimes, despite all your best intentions, fate wins anyway.

It means you have a choice. You have a choice to make. And I don't want to rush you into making the decision before you're ready. This morning I was going to come over.. I was going to say ... What I wanted to say was... But now all I can say is that... I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for, ever. I'm a little late, I know I'm a little late in telling you that. I, I just, I just want you to take your time, you know. Take all the time you need, because you have a choice to make. And when I had a choice to make, I chose wrong.

Dont take it personally. It's the doctor thing. Four years of highschool, four years of college, four years of med school - by the time we graduate, we're in our late 20s and we've never done anything except go to school and think about science. Time stops. We're socially retarded. I mean, look at me. I'm in love with a guy who won't say he loves me back and here I am in his kitchen cooking, just hoping that he comes home and notices me. I'm a total freak - I'm that girl in the back of that class who eats her hair. And Meredith, she's 17 years old, we're all 17 years old. This is highschool with scalpels.

Dark and twisty Meredith. I'm not dark and twisty Meredith. And if I am, it's because I live my life under a banner of avoidence. I avoid. I'm an avoider

Time flies. Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All any of us wants is more time. Time to stand up. Time to grow up. Time to let go. Time.

It's not hard, it's painful. But it's not hard. You know what to do already. If you didn't, you wouldn't be in so much pain.

There are moments... moments that in a split second your life changes forever, and before you know it...you're somewhere else.

Time takes pleasure in kicking our asses. For even the strongest of us it seems to play tricks. Slowing down... hovering until it freezes. Leaving us stuck in a moment- unable to more in one direction or the other.

The body is a slave to it's impulses. But the thing that makes us human is what we can control. After the storm, after the rush, after the heat of the moment has passed, we can cool off and clean up the messes we made. We can try to let go of what was.

I feel like I'm moving in slow motion and everything around me is moving so fast... and I just want to go back to when things were normal.

I know you think you're scary and damaged. It makes you think you don't deserve good things, but you do. And Derek, he's bad for you. But me, I'm a good thing. And if this is a race, if there is a ring, my hat is in.

At any given moment, the brain has 14 billion neurons firing at a speed of 450 miles per hour. We don't have control over most of them. When we get a chill...goose bumps. When we get excited...adrenaline. The body naturally follows it's impulses, which I think is part of what makes it so hard for us to control ours. Of course, sometimes we have impulses we would rather not control, that we later wish we had. The body is a slave to it's impulses. But the thing that makes us human is what we can control. After the storm, after the rush, after the heat of the moment has passed, we can cool off and clean up the messes we made. We can try to let go of what was.

The fantasy is simple: pleasure is good and twice is much pleasure is better, that pain is bad and no pain is better. But the reality is different. The reality is that pain is there to tell us something.

I guess there really is no starting over, is there?

First, do no harm. As doctors, we pledge to live by this oath. But harm happens and then guilt happens. And there is no oath for how to deal with that. Guilt never goes anywhere on its own, it brings its friends - doubt and insecurity. We are left with a choice. Either let the guilt throw you back into the behavior that got you into trouble in the first place, or learn from the guilt and do your best to move on.

Everyone needs help from time to time. Someone to look out for them to make sure they're okay, to make sure they're ready.

McDreamy was doing the McNasty with McHottie? That McBastard

You're here, you're everywhere, and I can't not tell you. You know, I've been not telling you all day because I thought it was kind and I thought I was giving you space. But I can't not tell you because you're here and you're you

You deserve to be with somebody who makes you happy. Somebody who doesn't complicate your life. Somebody who wont hurt you. He's the better guy.

You know as well as I do it's not about what you look like, or your job, or how successful you are. It's about having people in your life that you love and who love you...that's all that matters.

There comes a moment when it's more than just a game, and you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away. I could quit but here's the thing, I love the playing field.

There are times when even the best of us have trouble with commitment, and we may be surprised at the commitments we're willing to let slip out of our grasp. Commitments are complicated. We may surprise ourselves by the commitments we're willing to make, true commitment, takes effort, and sacrifice. Which is why sometimes, we have to learn the hard way, to choose our commitments very carefully.

I'm out of my element here. I break bones for a living... I used to live in the basement. Most days I wear last night's eyeliner to work. I dont give a crap what other people think about me. Because I am a happily, independent, sucessfull woman and I like it that way... only when you say stuff like this, it just.. it makes things too hard. So please, don't chase me anymore... unless you're ready to catch me.

Most of the time we can't tell what's wrong with somebody by just looking at them. After all, they can look perfectly fine on the outside while their insides tell us a whole other story.

It comes in waves. There's a lull and then another wave hits you. I just wanted you to know that its okay not to be fine sometimes.

I miss him -all the time.... I miss him. It's not waves, it's constant. All the time.

Most wounds run deeper than we can imagine. You can't see them with the naked eye. And then there are the wounds that take us by surprise. The truth with any kind of wound, or disease is to dig down and find the real source of the injury... and once you've found it-- try like hell to heal that sucker.

Many people don't know that the human eye has a blind spot in its field of vision-that there's a part of the world we are literally blind to. The problem is sometimes our blind spots shield us from things that shouldn't be ignored. Sometimes our blind spots keep our lives bright and shiny. When it comes to our blind spots-maybe our brains aren't compensating, maybe they're protecting us.

The thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free. Whether good or bad, at least they're out in the open. And once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore. The problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control, you're not.

In some ways, betrayal is inevitable. When our bodies betray us, surgery is often the key to recovery. When we betray each other, the path to recovery is less clear. We do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust that was lost. And then there are some wounds, some betrayals.that are so deep, so profound that there is no way to repair what was lost. And when that happens, there's nothing left to do but wait.

I'm a girl with abandonment issues. You have to sleep with me from now on.

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.

As surgeons, we live in a world of worse case scenarios. We cut ourselves off from hoping for the best because too many times the best doesn't happen. But every now and then something extraordinary occurs and suddenly best case scenarios seem possible. And every now and then something amazing happens, and against our better judgment we start to have hope.

From now on, you can expect that I'm gonna show up. Even if I yell. Even if you yell. I'm always gonna show up. Ok?

No one believes that their life will turn out just kind of okay. We all think we are going to be great. And from the day we decide to be surgeons, we are filled with expectation. Great expectations of who we will be, where we will go.

I was right. I swear I really believe what I did was right. I don't want you to forgive me. Frankly, I'd find it patronizing if you did. Because... while I know I was right, you think I'm wrong. Which doesn't matter...because... I'm in this. I'm in this for the long haul. And I'm in this to finish the race. So if that means I don't win this one, then fine. I don't win. You win. I'm talking. See? I'm talking first. You win.

When the worst case scenario comes true, clinging to hope is all we've got left.

We all think we're going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren't met. But sometimes our expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing. Still, the expected's just the beginning, the unexpected is what changes our lives

Disappearances happen in science. Disease can suddenly fade away, tumors go missing, and we open someone up to discover the cancer is gone. Its unexplained It's rare, but it happens. We call it mis-diagnosis say we never saw it in the first place, any explanation but the truth. That life is full of vanishing acts. If something that we didn't know we had disappears, do we miss it?

Every time I look at you... I feel better. It shocks me. It knocks my wind out, but it's true. I don't have to have sex with you, I'd be happy just look at you from across the room. And even that, anything, any piece of you. And, hopefully, all of you...that'd be the best thing. Because I love you

Do you know what kind of miracle it is that Derek is who he is? Do you know how rare it is that someone like him even exists? He's still an optimist! He still believes in true love and magic and soul mates. He's waiting for you. And if you don't come back from this, you will change who he is

I am feeling the need to do some drinking. Actually, I'm feeling the need to do some crying, but my tear ducts seem to be too proud, so I am going to do some drinking instead.

I know people die. People die in front of us everyday, but I believe Meredith will survive this. I believe, I believe, I...I believe in the good. I believe that it's been a hell of a year and I believe that in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary we will all be okay. I believe a lot of things. I believe that...I believe that Denny is always with me. And I believe that if I eat a tub of butter and no one sees me the calories don't count. And I believe that surgeons who prefer staples over stitches are just lazy. I believe that you are a man that made a terrible mistake marrying Callie and I believe that because I'm your best friend I can tell you this and we can be okay. I believe that even though you made this mistake you will be okay. I believe we survive, George. I believe that believing we survive is what makes us survive.

At the end of a day like this when so many prayers are answered and so many aren't, we take our miracles where we find them. We reach across the gap and sometimes against all odds, against all logic, we touch..against all odds it happens.

People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret roadmaps of their personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers

Some people believe that without history, our lives amount to nothing. At some point we all have to choose: do we fall back on what we know, or do we step forward to something new? It's hard not to be haunted by our past. Our history is what shapes us... what guides us. Our history resurfaces time after time after time. So we have to remember sometimes the most important history is the history we're making today.

She's tough. She tries to hide it. She's difficult. But if you make an effort, she's worth it. She's worth the effort.

What's worse, new wounds which are so horribly painful or old wounds that should've healed years ago and never did? Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we've been and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think. But that's not the way it is, is it? Some things we just have to learn over and over and over again

You're his best friend. He loves you. He gets you. He needs you. I can´t compete with you.

I don't, I just, that day, you came out of the water, it was the scariest hour of my life, trying to breathe for you. I love you, and I want you, but I don't know what to...you didn't swim. You didn't swim and you know how to. And I don't know if I can... I don't know if I wanna keep trying to breathe for you

I probably wont be really fine until I dont care if he's fine anymore

The thing about plans is they don't take into account the unexpected, so when we're thrown a curve ball, whether its in the OR or in life, we have to improvise. Of course, some of us are better at it than others. Some of us just have to move on to plan B, and make the best of it. And sometimes what we want is exactly what we need. But sometimes, sometimes what we need is a new plan.

We can ignore it all we want, but our history eventually always comes back to haunt us.

Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be; The people who suffer the most, are those who don't know what they want.

Maybe we accept the dream has become a nightmare. We tell ourselves that reality is better. We convince ourselves it's better that we never dream at all. But, the strongest of us, the most determined of us, holds on to the dream or we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered. We wake to find ourselves, against all odds... feeling hopeful. And, if we're lucky, we realize in the face of everything, in the face of life- the true dream is being able to dream at all.

You guys are just used to it, that's all. You already have it, you have that thing everybody else wants. You can take it for granted, but let me tell you, if you didn't - if you couldn't be with the person that you love, I guarantee that hearing him promise you, love you and honor you and cherish you, no matter what, it would be pretty much all you could think about.

You know how sometimes its about you and sometimes it's about me? This is really, really about me.

No matter what, you're walking down that aisle today. I need you to go down that aisle. You marrying Burke, it's a sign. Sign that people like you and me ... can do this. Be healthy, be happy. You marrying Burke restores my faith in... me.

I do love you. Don't you see? Don't you understand? You're the love of my life. I can't leave you. But you're constantly leaving me! You walk away when you want, you come back when you want! You stand by your friends. But you leave me! So I'm asking you, If you don't see a future for us, if you're not in this, Please - please, just end it because I can't, I'm in it. Put me out of my misery.

When I drowned, it was different for you than it was for me. Something happened to me, and I really don't know how to explain it without sounding like....I just feel different - I wanna be better at everything, and I wanna let you in. I swear. Just, now is not the time to give up on me, ok? That's what I´m saying

Look at me. Look at Me! You suck, to me you suck. I kind of hate you. But Alex, you do not get unlimited chances to have the things we want. And this I know. Nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could change your life.

Because I'm your best friend and because I love you, if what you want is to be with her then I will do everything in my power to support you and help you make your marriage work. But because I'm your best friend and because I love you, I also have to say that I am in love with you. I'm in love with you. I can't promise a future, I can't promise perfection because we're us... and I'm me.. and who knows what will happen. But in my heart, I am sure.. I'm in love with you and I hope you're in love with me too.

I could promise to hold you, and to cherish you. I could promise to be there, in sickness and in health. I could say till death do us part. But I won't. Those vows are for optimistic couples, the ones full of hope. I do not stand here on my wedding day optimistic or full of hope. I am not optimistic. I am not hopeful. I am sure. I am steady. I'm a heart man. Take 'em apart, put 'em back together, hold them in my hands. I am a heart man. So this, I am sure. You are my partner. My lover. My very best friend. My heart. MY HEART beats for you. And on this day, the day of our wedding, I promise you this. I promise you to lay my heart in the palm of your hands, I promise you, me.

I'm bambi. I'm bambi, George. If anyone in this situation is a sad little cartoon character, it's me. I'm all alone in the forest, all alone in the fores. And my mother's been shot by a hunter and where are you? Where the hell are you?

Change; we don't like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn't is lying. But heres the truth: the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Oh, sometimes change is everything.

There comes a point in your life when you're officially an adult. Suddenly, you're old enough to vote, drink, and engage in other adult activities. Suddenly, people expect you to be responsible, serious... a grown up. We get taller, we get older. But do we ever really grow up?

It goes away. The feeling. That feeling that you have right now, today, that feeling like you can do anything. That clarity, It goes away. And you go right back to being the coward who can't tell the person you love how you feel

When you're talking about human chemistry only one thing matters: either you've got it or you don't.

I don't know anyone who isn't haunted by something or someone. And whether we try to slice the pain away with a scalpel or shove it in the back of a closet- our efforts usually fail. So the only way we can clear out the cobwebs is to turn a new page or put an old story to rest- finally, finally to rest.

You didn't love her! You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was good for your ego. Or, or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn't love her, because you don't destroy the person that you love!

People are stupid and just want to be loved. That's the only reason anyone does anything

Deep down, everyone wants to believe they can be hardcore. But being hardcore isn't just about being tough - it's about acceptance. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to not be hardcore for once. You don't have to be tough every minute of every day. It's okay to let down your guard. In fact, there are moments when it's the best thing you can possibly do - as long as you choose your moments wisely.

The thing about addiction is it never ends well, because eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high stops feeling good and starts to hurt. Still, they say you don't kick the habit until you hit rock bottom, but how do you know when you're there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes letting it go hurts even worse.

The truth is hard. The truth is awkward and very often the truth hurts. I mean, people think they want the truth. But do they really?

I'm in love with this incredible guy and we're having problems. And my best friend, he would know what to say to me about it. I need to be able to talk to my best friend. I cannot get through this without my best friend.

Forgive and forget. That's what they say. It's good advice, but it's not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness old scores never settle. Old wounds never heal, and the most we can hope for is that someday we'll be lucky enough to forget

You knew what you wanted. You sticked to your guns. You proved that if you want something bad enough, if you're determined enough, if you're patient enough eventually it will happen. & that gives me hope. So thanks for that.

The truth is painful. Deep down nobody wants to hear it, especially when it hits close to home. Sometimes we tell the truth because the truth is all we have to give. Sometimes we tell the truth because we need to say it outloud to hear it for ourselves. And sometimes we tell the truth because we just can't help ourselves. Sometimes, we tell them because we owe them at least that much.

I can't stop. I just can't stop seeing Derek. And it's not about the sex. Its not...about the sex. It's about that moment afterward when the world stops. It just feels so safe. So safe. I'm not ready to give that up. Does that make me sad and weak and pathetic?

In some ways we grow up. We have families, we get married, divorced, but for the most part, we still have the same problems that we did when we were fifteen. No matter how much we grow taller, grow older, we are still forever stumbling, forever wondering, forever young.